How Long Now? Is It Time? PART 1
How often, and for how long, are you going to ignore the little self in you who’s banging on the door of your heart? How often are you going to show her and tell her that it’s not her turn yet? How many times are you going to let her know in so many ways that she is not at the top of your priority list? How often will she have to slump down feeling hurt, ignored, and insignificant to you?
It’s not that you’re a bad person, or even an unfeeling person. No, it’s just that in this Western culture of ours, where we’re taught to take control of everything and to strong-arm it into reality, this little self, this precious one, this core of your being gets left behind, thrown in a closet… and forgotten.
The thing is she will make herself known. Either you’ll get sick, or you’ll get injured, or you’ll have troubled relationships, or difficulty in your work life, never get that book written, or never have the time to take that trip to the place you’ve dreamed about since childhood, etc., etc. It’s not that this little one is sabotaging you deliberately, no not at all. It’s that you’re not fucking listening to her! She has so much to share with you about who you really are, what you really want, what you really need, what you get to demand. And really, how else is she supposed to get your attention besides doing shit that will GET YOUR ATTENTION!
At some point you’ll realize, hopefully, that it’s safe to soften to her, that it’s safe to open your heart to her. Yep, you’re right, it’s all about vulnerability…hers and yours. You’ll realize this, even though together you and she have a history of being physically or emotionally abandoned, ignored, disrespected, and maybe not even tolerated by the grown-ups around you when you really were a little kid. But now it’s your turn to be the good mama, the good daddy, the good adult for her….the safe one, the loving one, the respectful one.
Are you at that point yet? If so what got you there? What was the turning point? If not, what’s it going to take? More same old, same old?
She’ll wait, because, honestly, where else has she got to go? And in the meantime she’ll suffer and so will you, because you are inextricably joined… kind of like Siamese twins. Except you two are forever joined at the heart. No fancy surgery to separate you so you can go on your merry way without her.
That’s the thing. She’s not going anywhere. And you have the choice to immeasurably enrich your life, and make it an authentic work of art, or to keep limping along, pretending it’s all okay, and suffering. Your call.
All it takes is being present and kind to this little one, listening to her, respecting her needs and her wants. Setting, keeping and holding safe and respectful boundaries and limits around her. Being very discerning about who gets in close to her. I know, it seems like a daunting task.
She is a treasure. Your treasure. And she’s been right there under your nose, living in your subconscious mind and inside your heart this whole time. Yours for the taking.
And if you think that your “Personal Glass Ceiling” that keeps you in your place, and keeps you from realizing your dreams has nothing to do with her, think again.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this article where I tell you how to actually be in a healthy relationship with your little one. Have you got the time for that? Author Tom Robbins says, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood?” I agree.
Bless you…and as always, I hope you SPARKLE!
Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama
PS I would love to have a conversation with you to see if we’d be a good fit working together to help you move beyond your “Personal Glass Ceiling” into the life you truly want to experience! Spots are very limited. Scroll down the page after clicking the link.
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