I took wonderful deep dive with a client this morning, which allowed her ultimately, to release a very heavy burden of resentment and anger she had carried from childhood.
She had mentioned many times before that while she loved this particular friend of hers very much, and enjoyed her company, she would get very triggered into judging this person and the way that she did certain things. Her self-righteousness would rear its head up, allowing her to feel superior and looking down her nose at her friend. She hated the way this felt and was acknowledging that.
The deep dive took her back to childhood and her relationship with her sibling, and the competition for mom and dad’s attention, approval, validation, you name it. These days, she and her sibling have a better relationship, but it’s still fraught with competitiveness and they still can trigger the living daylights out of each other. She was able to make the connection between this relationship pattern and her relationship with her friend.
The thing that she became aware of, and that turned the tide for her was that her friend really likes her and is not at all competitive with her. In fact she’s quite complimentary. And frankly she’s not competitive with the friend either. A bit envious at times, but not competitive. They feel like sisters to each other. For my client, this is kind of a corrective experience, given the nature of her relationship with her sibling. It gives her the opportunity to have a “sister”, whom she can allow to be herself, and be allowed to be her own self as well.
When she realized that this old pattern tapped into what I call “the holding tank” of resentment and anger that she carried from childhood and her sibling relationship, that got triggered, expressed, and released , leading to some relief for her, she was willing to begin to let it go, to let it drain out of her. She said that she knows very clearly that she does not need the protection any longer of that barrier of anger and resentment that made her feel empowered as a child, and that she still relied on to some extent in her sibling relationship.
We began to explore the differences between discernment and judgment, and she connected very quickly with her understanding that people choose spiritual lessons and soul challenges before they come into this life, and that both her sister and her friend are walking absolutely perfect, unique paths, which she does not need to understand or approve of. This is HUGE because this also means that she is walking a perfect path which no one else needs to understand or approve of.
The relief went even farther because now she was free to love both of these women generously, with compassion, even while saying to herself “That doesn’t work for me.” about something that either one of them does that she’s just simply not in agreement or alignment with.
More Freedom…for everyone!!
How has releasing judgment freed you? Have you moved into discernment instead? Are you healing and changing relationship patterns from your past?
I would love for you to Comment below. Thank you for being here and reading.
Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama
Soul Seer, Empathic Healer, Spiritual Teacher & Writer, supporting and advocating for women’s authentic, joyful, successful living for over 35 years.
**If you are ready to explore the next phase of your healing-into-thriving, CONTACT me for a complimentary one-to-one session to discover how we might work together for your Spiral Path Healing.
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