Dance with Your Shadow

Powerful and delicious sessions with clients last night and this morning left me feeling energized, buzzy, and pretty high on the work my clients and I partner to do together! Both amazing women were willing to journey into the territory where they can claim more of what Jung called their shadow selves and essential enlivening energy. For the woman I worked with last night in my Miami office, allowing herself to see perhaps for the first time how an early decision to “never, ever be like “him/her” limited her so drastically with regard to who she was able to become.

 

At first blush, she resisted the thought that she might be, or worse, want to be like “him/her”, but as we journeyed deeper into the price she pays for that rigid decision to be as I call it, a pendulum that only swings one way, she became intrigued by the idea. And then it caught fire for her. We progressed playfully, imagining what it would be like to be more demanding, more selfish, more entitled, less nurturing. Her laughter filled the room as she realized what a skewed image of herself she had maintained all these years, a saintly image. “I do NOT want to be a saint!”, she emphatically declared.

 

Well then let’s examine what “he/she” is like, and just how unsaintly they are! After all, you want to be a lot less saintly! I held the lantern high and shined the light on her relationships with a couple of family members and how her early vow as she sought her place in the family, to never be like them, had boxed her into a people-pleasing, approval-seeking role. She had played that role to the hilt until it kept her for far too long in a toxic, emotionally-abusive and disempowering relationship, which she left finally ready to examine other possibilities.

 

She tells me in an email this morning that while she’s feeling somewhat emotionally overwhelmed from last evening’s journey, perhaps it’s time to “learn another kind of dance”. Yes!! Now she is open, resistance dissolving like magic through the alchemy of insight about how being different in formerly threatening ways, could now serve her very well in her quest for authenticity, fulfillment, and peace. And let’s face it, make her more of a match of for the man of her dreams she is vibrationally calling to her!

 

Then this morning my long-distance phone client embarks on the shadowy journey to deepen her understanding of why she keeps hedging her bets about her almost decade-long primary relationship. She finds herself making excuses for why she is with this person, and as I point out that it is as if she holds a higher, more worthy version of herself off to the side, she winces a bit at the truth of it, but still appreciating the frankness. Again with this dear one, here is an opportunity to gather all the parts of herself around the fire and welcome them, embracing each one of them warmly, and expressing her appreciation.

 

The fact of the matter is, she is with her partner for such deeply satisfying reasons. For starters, she admits that he is the kindest, nicest, most considerate and appreciative man she has ever met, and that she feels a safety with him that she’s never felt in another relationship. Now she’s again willing to look at how she holds him at arm’s length with criticism and judgment, as though she’s worthy of much better. Ouch, that pinches! And then we journey to a higher vantage point from which she views the needs of her ego, and she sees what a spoiler it has been, to hold herself in abeyance, as though someone better might come along any day. In this moment, she is thrilled as she gets an inkling of how she might let herself relax, be more vulnerable, and appreciate her partner on deeper and deeper levels.

 

The richness in this kind of inner journey to uncover parts of self that have been closeted, covered, and hidden is truly amazing. It is very much like discovering a treasure chest you didn’t even know existed, right under your very nose. This woman is astonished at how delicious it could be to allow herself to sink into true and sweet appreciation and even more affection for her partner. She’s enchanted by the idea that this might allow her to release her inner bitch from playing the role of guard dog at the door of her heart, realizing now that that kind of protection is not necessary. She’s able to relax into what an amazingly good and authentically beautiful choice she has made to be with this man, who loves and cherishes and cares for her and her young daughter. Could he be her beloved?

 

We have the choice to go through life being that pendulum that only swings one way in order to create the illusion of the safety that once seemed essential to our well-being. Or we can choose to take the risk of uncovering shunned parts of ourselves that have been waiting patiently for us to invite them back into the fold, so that we can all play together. This dance of life is infinitely more fun and more satisfying the more of ourselves we can call into play.

 

How have you invited your shadow parts back into your life? How daunted are you by the thought of approaching them? If you have done this shadow healing work, has your life been enriched by bringing them back into your heart?

 

Please share with me in the Comments section below, I would love to read your thoughts and learn about your personal experience.\

 

Thank you for coming to visit and reading this. I appreciate your presence here.

 

I love you.

 

Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama
www.JaniceMasters.com

 

To arrange for an Intuitive Reading or Private Coaching/Mentoring with me send me an email to: janmmiami at gmail.com

 

#shadow #authenticliving #journeytoself #relationships #privatesessions #healingjourney #shadowwork #Jung #appreciation #beloved #freedom

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