RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST, RECOVERING YOURSELF
Is this familiar pattern familiar to you?
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it…
POWERFUL SESSION WITH A SENSITIVE EMPATH
The above pattern of responses is very familiar to my client (many of y clients, actually)
This dear client was raised by a narcissist mother. And because her mom was by turns abusive and nurturing, she really understood when I called that dynamic ‘crazymaking’
She has also been married to a charming narcissist for 20 years.
As we work together, she is finally realizing how she has been conditioned to mistrust her own inner guidance, wisdom, knowing.
She gets how this has skewed the outcomes in her life.
She understands that she puts out a rather unconvincing, diluted message about who she is.
After all, it’s been dangerous to full out be who she really is…a sensitive, empathic, wise, intuitive, deeply caring and conscious person.
You may have heard that the one trait that a narcissist is consistently attracted to is EMPATHY. Yes, that’s right.
We are working with some important tools to do the foundational work of building up her self-respect and self-trust.
The desire to have certain outcomes happen NOW in her life is overwhelming at times, but she is understanding the ‘build the foundation of the house first, or the walls will fall down’ analogy. So she is using the tools I have taught her and she is processing with me what comes up along this healing path for her.
Right next to her anger at what these relationships have been and the damage to her self-esteem, her sense of self-worth that’s been done, is a deep compassion that we both hold for the narcissists, for their profound woundedness and unending neediness.
Her anger is an energy source for her forward movement, and her compassion is what keeps her heart whole and healthy. She gets to set her compassion aside to tap into her anger and grief at what’s been lost for her, and her commitment now to regain it and heal back into herself.
She is learning that personal boundaries and limits allow us to maintain our vulnerability without exposure to known danger.
She is learning that she is responsible for keeping the vulnerable part of herself safe from harm, especially from known sources of harm.
She understands that abuse is not necessarily physical, and that emotional, spiritual abuse strikes very deep within, causing self-doubt, shame, embarrassment, and feelings of worthlessness…that ‘there must be something wrong with me’ feeling.
She is grasping the importance of tracking and learning to trust her own intuition, inner wisdom, guidance to make her authentic way in life.
Do you or a loved one need to do this work? Are you ready? Please get in touch with me.
I love you….
I hope you SPARKLE!
Janice Masters, M.Ed., The Shaman Mama
Counselor, Coach, Consultant, Mentor for Empath Women ready to heal into what’s next!
**SUMMER 2019 SPECIAL ON PRIVATE SESSIONS**
5 One-hour Private Sessions for $725. (A savings of $275)
Good until September 1, 2019, only by private arrangement with me.
(Not available on my website)