Gaslighting. This is a topic that is much discussed right now. The reason being that we are confronted with lies and deliberate untruths from the person who is just assumed the role of President of the United States.
It’s a topic that warrants attention and discussion because it is not only affecting our entire country but it is something that is damaging and toxic in personal relationships.
The gist of gaslighting is that when something occurs and you know what your experience has been, the other person insists that your experience is invalid, even crazy, and precedes to tell you what they want you to think is true. This is something that happens dynamically in any relationship with a narcissist. The name of the game is to get control over you, and one of the best ways to do that is make you doubt your own power of perception and your own sense of sanity
It is useless to argue with a narcissist because they will fight to the death about what they want you to think is right. Narcissism is an extremely well and strongly defended psychological disorder and as such, is not subject to change.
The best defense is to simply reiterate your truth, and then not argue about it. Make an internal decision to know what you know and to hold on to what you know as a way to preserve your sense of self and your sense of your own sanity.
Now in a personal relationship the best thing to do is to work toward getting out of that relationship because what is the point of staying with someone whose main objective is to make you doubt yourself and your worth and your sanity?
However when we are dealing with the same dynamic pattern on the national and in fact, the world stage with the person who currently occupies the office of President of the United States then we must help each other as citizens, and the press to stand firm in the truth of what we know and not allow the lies to shape the course of our future. It’s a well-known fact that the path to a fascist regime is to employ tactics just like this. It’s so well-known that some people refer to it as ‘the fascist playbook.’ Do your own historical research and you will see what I mean.
Right now we have an opportunity not to fall into despair and self-doubt because of the machinations of a clinical narcissist on the national stage. However, if you have been dealing with this in a personal relationship and are having trouble getting out, or have gotten out and are having trouble recovering, then please seek support from a professional.
For decades I have been working with women who either grew up with a narcissistic or other kind of abusive, toxic parent, and who may have then followed that path into a marriage or primary relationship with a narcissist or other kind of toxic individual. You absolutely CAN recover your sense of self and your worth and your sanity, no matter how far down the ‘rabbit hole’ you make have followed the narcissist in your life.
While it is true that these toxic relationships reach deep into your psyche and traumatize you, nothing can touch your soul and that is how you recover, by making contact with your very soul and rescuing the terrified inner child within you.
The person in the white house right now may be bringing up memories and feelings and PTSD from past experiences with a narcissist or other toxic individual. This makes right now a crucial time for deeply committed self care, boundaries, limits, choices and priorities. If you’re not sure what that means this is something that you can learn about.
If this pertains to you and you would like support in dealing with these kinds of issues and recovering please contact me. If you know someone who is dealing with these kinds of issues and needs support please share this with them.
As always I hope you SPARKLE!
Janice Masters, the shaman mama
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© Janice Masters 2017
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